Losing a loved one can be devastating. Suddenly nothing makes sense; your world stops. You struggle to put one foot in front of the other to get through the day, and each day usually brings with it a sense of sadness and finality.
Everyone processes their grief in their own way. All countries, faiths and religions have some form of rite of passage to say goodbye to their loved ones. In our society, this process is commonly through a funeral, and it is, for many, an important part of the grief journey, a process which helps family and friends to come to terms with their loss. They offer time for reflection and are an important stage on the road towards acceptance.
The Covid pandemic broke new ground for funerals. Only a handful of people were allowed to attend ceremonies due to concerns about spreading the disease and mourners had to sit metres apart – a son could not even hug his mother. And while people could watch the funeral via video links, the sense of unity in paying last respects was lost.
A lot of information has since come out about the long-term impact of this time, and it has been found many people suspended their grief which has led to long term emotional damage.
More than ever, those that have lost someone close to them can choose how they wish to say goodbye, allowing for a truly personal approach and doing away with any unnecessary or unwanted elements where relevant, and, practically, in part addressing the often-high costs that can be associated with the process.
There is a growing trend for direct cremations; simple affairs, with no mourners in attendance and no service held. Instead, a funeral director takes the deceased to their place of cremation and their ashes will be given to the family afterwards, if they so wish.
These uncomplicated funerals are lower key and, as such, cheaper than a traditional funeral. Relatives and friends are free to then organise their own celebration of life at a future date, perhaps one which is at a more convenient time and when the first wave of grief has passed.
While the right choice for many families, for others, such a simple and direct approach while practical may not adequately provide that much-needed sense of closure. For many, the best way to say goodbye is through a traditional funeral. This provides the opportunity for mourners to gather together to pay their respects and for families to gain support and see the outpouring of love for the deceased. Funerals also help to put the loved one’s life in perspective, for memories to be stirred and the joy of life to be remembered, even in grief.
Cost is undoubtedly a very important factor to consider in funeral planning – but so too are the emotional benefits and impact on wellbeing that comes from the chance to say a full and proper goodbye, however that may look. While there are lots of ways to reduce monetary costs, an emotional debt can be immeasurable – and often harder to overcome long term.
NAFD President Jenny Gilbert-Trigg recently discussed this topic – Why Skipping A Funeral Can Be Emotionally Expensive – on an episode of ‘Death: A Changing Industry’: “The cost of a funeral can be quite high, but the cost emotionally of not having a funeral, potentially, is huge… and you can’t measure that cost.”
Click here to watch the full episode and find other episodes on the DACI YouTube channel.
Every family is different, and whatever your budget, there are so many ways to make your lost loved one’s final journey meaningful for those they have sadly left behind. We’re here to help you do just that, ensuring everyone has the opportunity to say goodbye; we know that grief does not stop simply because a funeral has taken place, but it can be an important and cathartic step along the right path.
Our experienced and compassionate team of funeral arrangers are here for you whenever you need us. For assistance with planning a funeral, bereavement support, questions about practicalities, and more, please do reach out by visiting us in your local Hunnaball Family Funeral Group branch or calling 01206 760049.
